Thursday, February 10, 2011

I wonder as I wander

I recently came across a newspaper article that talked about a Brad Carmack, a straight BYU student, that wrote about a book on homosexuality. I read this article and was amazed at the 27-year-old's courage to voice his opinions, though the people he loved would more than likely shun him because of his interest on this topic. He said that this was going to be the "defining issue of my generation." I believe him. I also think about some of the things Ty Mansfield has written, as well as Carol Lynn Pearson and Stuart Matis' parents. And then I think about what I desire to write...and what I am writing. I am not using my real name. Arenelda is NOT my real name. But I wonder what it would be like to use my real name. My life would be different, I'm sure, but different how? Would people look at me like I was a villain...that I was a sheep in wolf's clothing? That there was a whole side of me they never even suspected? Or would they look at me as if I was an honorable warrior...one of the those leading a huge army on? Probably both. Probably the former more so than the latter.

I asked the 1st counselor of my bishopric whether or not I would get excommunicated from the Church for volunteering at the Utah Pride Center. He said that no one would be excommunicated by helping people. He also said that his wife was an advocate for the LGBT community, that she had volunteered at the Pride Center and now works for the TREVOR hotline to help the suicidal LGBT youths, specifically for the Mormons. I was astounded. And she was still an active member of the Church? And she was not ashamed for advocating for these people, no matter how much the Church seems to hate them? So...I wonder as I wander if I should come out to the world and tell them that this is one issue I care about. I'm not sure if I'm ready to come out now. But I'm sure one day I'll be.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Intro to My Blog

This is something I've never really done before, so bear with me.

My name is A. R. Vapor (the A standing for Arenelda, for those of you who want to know). So far, Life has given me its fair share of trials. Nevertheless, life is okay for me. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I believe in it with all my heart and soul. I believe in a religion that is centered around love and understanding. I believe that, even though the members would say horrible things about people, God would never, never, never do that. He knows each of us by our hearts! He looks on the heart. He knows what we need and what we want. I believe that within each human being is a desire to do good, to have something good, even if they go about it the wrong way, or at least what we view is the wrong way.

The blog title, "Some Things Are Certain" comes from the Lord of the Rings. Lady Arwen, an Elf and Lord Elrond's daughter, was just forced to go to an island where she could no longer see the love of her life, Aragorn, a Man, because she was to be immortal and couldn't do it where Aragorn lived. However, as she was traveling, she came upon a vision that Elrond was having. It was a vision of Aragorn with his son. The little boy was wearing Arwen's necklace, and she knew that she was the mother. Upon seeing the vision, she went back to her father's house where she told him that there was also life if she stayed there. Elrond said, "That future is almost gone."

"But it is not lost," was Arwen's reply.

"Nothing is certain," Elrond responded.

"Some things are certain. Ada (Father), if I leave him (Aragorn) now, I will regret it forever. It is time."

This quote also ties in to 1 Nephi 11:17 ("I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things"). We don't know why some things are the way they are, but we do know that we are all God's children and that He loves each and every one of us. What else is there to know? If the only thing we were taught was the fact that we are God's children and that He loves us, wouldn't we strive to become better people to each other? Wouldn't life be more bearable for everyone who is struggling if they knew their true identity? Life is a journey, a journey we are all on. Let us help each other make it to our destination in safety.

My blog is about my life as a Latter-day Saint that experiences same-gender attraction. For those of you who are reading this, please know that I love each and every one of you. If you have any questions or comments or just wanna talk, please email me at arvapor@gmail.com. I love you all!


Arenelda