I wonder as I wander

I recently came across a newspaper article that talked about a Brad Carmack, a straight BYU student, that wrote about a book on homosexuality. I read this article and was amazed at the 27-year-old's courage to voice his opinions, though the people he loved would more than likely shun him because of his interest on this topic. He said that this was going to be the "defining issue of my generation." I believe him. I also think about some of the things Ty Mansfield has written, as well as Carol Lynn Pearson and Stuart Matis' parents. And then I think about what I desire to write...and what I am writing. I am not using my real name. Arenelda is NOT my real name. But I wonder what it would be like to use my real name. My life would be different, I'm sure, but different how? Would people look at me like I was a villain...that I was a sheep in wolf's clothing? That there was a whole side of me they never even suspected? Or would they look at me as if I was an honorable warrior...one of the those leading a huge army on? Probably both. Probably the former more so than the latter.

I asked the 1st counselor of my bishopric whether or not I would get excommunicated from the Church for volunteering at the Utah Pride Center. He said that no one would be excommunicated by helping people. He also said that his wife was an advocate for the LGBT community, that she had volunteered at the Pride Center and now works for the TREVOR hotline to help the suicidal LGBT youths, specifically for the Mormons. I was astounded. And she was still an active member of the Church? And she was not ashamed for advocating for these people, no matter how much the Church seems to hate them? So...I wonder as I wander if I should come out to the world and tell them that this is one issue I care about. I'm not sure if I'm ready to come out now. But I'm sure one day I'll be.